Donut Holes, Not Timbits

Mr. Chestnut and Chicken weigh in

disclaimer
posted: 2014-07-11

This bit of banter started way back in April 2010 when my wife took donut holes to a social at work. It seemed like a perfect excuse for a bit of digital silliness, hence the following email exchange. Neither of us can remember how Tim Horton’s Timbits got into the picture, as we both prefer donut holes from Duffin’s Donuts, but anything that includes donut holes can’t be all bad, right?

Gourmet Shelled Chestnuts, Zunhua Jin Yuan Foods Company Ltd.

Gourmet Shelled Chestnuts, Zunhua Jin Yuan Foods Company Ltd.

In order to make sense of this folly, two characters require introduction. Mr. Chestnut (probably not his real name) adorns the package of Gourmet Shelled Chestnut [sic] from Zunhua Jin Yuan Foods Company.

Mr. Chestnut strikes a dashing pose - logo on chesnut package

Mr. Chestnut strikes a dashing pose

Mr. Chestnut is an exuberant, yet reflective fellow who takes no stock in fools. He strikes a dashing pose wouldn’t you agree?

only known photo of The Chicken (very blurry)

only known photo of The Chicken

The Chicken, of “why did the chicken cross the road” fame, is known for his uncanny ability to show up at exactly the right time to help pedestrians safely “get to the other side.”

Let the banter begin…


From: KB
Sent: Thursday, April 15, 2010 8:27 AM
To: BK
Subject: Donut holes, not Tim Bits!

Hey BK,
We know the difference.
Mr. Chestnut has his hands on his hips and an absolutely uncompromising look on his face. No doubt he's uttering a few jolly good harrumphs as well – he can sniff out a poser.

Have fun at the party,

KB


From: BK
Sent: Thursday, April 15, 2010 9:31 AM
To: KB
Subject: RE: Donut holes, not Tim Bits!

I think I will consult Mr. Chestnut from now on when I need to know if something is the REAL thing. That Mr. Chestnut is so clever, I may see if he wishes to be my guru.

Which came first… the donut or the hole?

BK


From: KB
Sent: Thursday, April 15, 2010 10:54 AM
To: BK
Subject: RE: Donut holes, not Tim Bits!

While Mr. Chestnut is very wise, don't forget, he's a bit nutty (some prefer to call him eccentric, others say he's half roasted, you pick). Which came first, the donut or the hole? Hmm. Better consult The Chicken.

Have you heard the scandal about Timbits? Many think that they are fraudulently manufactured, that is, they were never part of a donut at all. My word, what would Mr. Chestnut say about that?

KB


From: BK
Sent: Thursday, April 15, 2010 11:45 AM
To: KB
Subject: RE: Donut holes, not Tim Bits!

I think Mr. Chestnut is all of the above!

The Chicken is meditating at a retreat right now so I will have to consult him at a later date re: whether the donut or the hole came first.

I think that's why they're not called "donut holes" at Timmy's… because they were never part of a donut at all! Mr. Chestnut would shake his head (tsk, tsk).

BK


From: KB
Sent: Friday, April 16, 2010 8:14 AM
To: BK
Subject: RE: Donut holes, not Tim Bits!

Hi BK,
The Chicken is back from months of meditation in the Himalayas.
As to which came first, the donut, or the donut hole, his answer…
"Can't tell yet. Must eat more of each, then I will be better able to determine." So we'll cross that road when we get to it.

I think maybe Tim Bits actually refers to "a Bit O' Tim's donut dough" and, therefore, not actually a "donut 'ole." Mr. Chestnut was right: tsk, tsk, indeed. But we must wait for The Chicken's definitive answer.

KB


From: BK
Sent: Friday, April 16, 2010 9:09 AM
To: KB
Subject: RE: Donut holes, not Tim Bits!

Do you think The Chicken needs help in getting a definitive answer? I mean, I'd like to support The Chicken by eating more of both donuts and donut holes. Perhaps we could form a donut-donut-hole meditation circle… I think Mr. Chestnut would like to take part in that.

Maybe the meditation circle could eventually be joined by Tim Horton's staff who are interested in being more enlightened about the truth about donuts.

BK


From: KB
Sent: Friday, April 16, 2010 10:00 AM
To: BK
Subject: RE: Donut holes, not Tim Bits!

I think that since donuts are round, a donut-donut-hole meditation "circle" is an excellent idea. Donuts and donut holes should be served at all meetings, you know, to help us focus better.

I also think we should start a foundation: The Meditation Circle for All Things Donut (Including Donut Holes) Foundation or TMCFATD(IDH)F for short. Oh, guess that's not very short, is it.

I'm sure Chicken would welcome the help. Mr. Chestnut should join too, but must be careful not to me mistaken for a donut hole. Timmy's staff is welcome to join, but must be cautioned not to bring any donut/donut hole-like objects from Timmy's as we must keep the "circle" pure. Duffin's goodies are okay.

KB 😉


From: BK
Sent: Friday, April 16, 2010-04-16 10:08 AM
To: KB
Subject: RE: Donut holes, not Tim Bits!

Who knew that chickens, donuts, and chestnuts could provide so much entertainment? I don't think Mr. Chestnut would ever let anyone mistake him for a donut hole…you would definitely see his chestnut pose!

BK


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